HOA Insights: Common Sense for Common Areas

032 | Guarding against "Reputation Damage" in Your HOA

December 04, 2023 Hosts: Robert Nordlund, Kevin Davis, Julie Adamen Season 1 Episode 32
032 | Guarding against "Reputation Damage" in Your HOA
HOA Insights: Common Sense for Common Areas
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HOA Insights: Common Sense for Common Areas
032 | Guarding against "Reputation Damage" in Your HOA
Dec 04, 2023 Season 1 Episode 32
Hosts: Robert Nordlund, Kevin Davis, Julie Adamen

Today Kevin and Robert explore how to manage reputational damage in HOAs and maintain community harmony.
❗Join our LIVE Podcast April 1st 2024 on Youtube! 👉  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24KbKsKyoNY
✅ Is a Reserve Study right for you? 👉 https://www.reservestudy.com/

This episode isn't just about rules and regulations; it's about the heart of community living. Learn how to navigate the delicate balance of enforcing policies while fostering respect and understanding among residents. We tackle the tough questions: How do you maintain order without stepping on toes? How do you turn conflict into cooperation? Join us for a journey through the complexities of HOA management, blending expert advice with relatable, real-life scenarios. Perfect for HOA board members and residents who believe in building not just a community, but a home for all. 

Chapters from today's episode: Guarding against "Reputation Damage" in Your HOA

00:00 Disrespect and accountability in a HOA.
02:39 Dealing with Troublemaker Homeowners
06:11 What is reputational damage?
07:06 Should you be careful around that “one person” in your association?
09:07 Written/digital reputational damage
10:50 Dealing with incivility in your HOA
18:53 How is your reputation actually damaged and measured? 
21:12 Learning not to be reactionary & building up personal skills
25:37 Being Kind & Honest
27:18 how to deal with troublemakers at a HOA Board Meeting

Podcast Links:
Full Episode List
Watch On Youtube

Engage in the conversation!

Call our 24/7 voicemail line at (805) 203-3130 or send an email or voice memo to podcast@reservestudy.com

Nominate yourself or a Board Hero you Know!
Board Hero Nominations

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Available in our Boardmember Merch Store!

Connect with Hosts on LinkedIn

Julie Adamen
https://www.linkedin.com/in/julieadamen/

Kevin Davis, CIRMS
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-davis-98105a12/

Robert Nordlund, PE
https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-nordlund-pe-rs-5119636/

Support Our Sponsors

Association Insights & Marketplace
https://www.ourfipho.com/

Association Reserves
https://www.reservestudy.com/

Community Financials
...

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Today Kevin and Robert explore how to manage reputational damage in HOAs and maintain community harmony.
❗Join our LIVE Podcast April 1st 2024 on Youtube! 👉  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24KbKsKyoNY
✅ Is a Reserve Study right for you? 👉 https://www.reservestudy.com/

This episode isn't just about rules and regulations; it's about the heart of community living. Learn how to navigate the delicate balance of enforcing policies while fostering respect and understanding among residents. We tackle the tough questions: How do you maintain order without stepping on toes? How do you turn conflict into cooperation? Join us for a journey through the complexities of HOA management, blending expert advice with relatable, real-life scenarios. Perfect for HOA board members and residents who believe in building not just a community, but a home for all. 

Chapters from today's episode: Guarding against "Reputation Damage" in Your HOA

00:00 Disrespect and accountability in a HOA.
02:39 Dealing with Troublemaker Homeowners
06:11 What is reputational damage?
07:06 Should you be careful around that “one person” in your association?
09:07 Written/digital reputational damage
10:50 Dealing with incivility in your HOA
18:53 How is your reputation actually damaged and measured? 
21:12 Learning not to be reactionary & building up personal skills
25:37 Being Kind & Honest
27:18 how to deal with troublemakers at a HOA Board Meeting

Podcast Links:
Full Episode List
Watch On Youtube

Engage in the conversation!

Call our 24/7 voicemail line at (805) 203-3130 or send an email or voice memo to podcast@reservestudy.com

Nominate yourself or a Board Hero you Know!
Board Hero Nominations

Free Zoom backgrounds
Available in our Boardmember Merch Store!

Connect with Hosts on LinkedIn

Julie Adamen
https://www.linkedin.com/in/julieadamen/

Kevin Davis, CIRMS
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-davis-98105a12/

Robert Nordlund, PE
https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-nordlund-pe-rs-5119636/

Support Our Sponsors

Association Insights & Marketplace
https://www.ourfipho.com/

Association Reserves
https://www.reservestudy.com/

Community Financials
...

Kevin Davis:

We feel as unit owners, or anybody, we feel we disrespected. And guess what, you got to treat me better. Because I demand you treat me better. I demand you treat me with respect. I'm going to demand you treat me. I am somebody like I belonged. I am special, and everybody feels that way. And it's creating these problems because as a board of directors, our job is to enforce the documents, right? To collect assessments to maintain a common area. It's our job, but guess what happens though, in order to do that, we can't make everybody happy. And we don't make them happy. Guess what, instead of them take responsibility and say I'm sorry, you're right. I do need to look at the rules and obey them with why I should pay my assessments on time. We go, what right? Do you have the past assessments anyway? What do you think you are? How dare you do this to me. And that's where the problem comes into play.

Announcer: HOA Insights:

Common Sense for Common Areas exists to help all 2 million volunteer board members nationwide have the right information at the right time to make the right decisions for their future. This podcast is sponsored by four companies that care about Board Members Association insights & Marketplace, Association Reserves, Community Financials, and Kevin Davis Insurance Services. You'll find links to their websites and social media in the show notes.

Robert Nordlund:

Hi, I'm Robert Nordlund of association reserves.

Kevin Davis:

Hi, I'm Kevin Davis of Kevin Davis Insurance Services. And this is HOA Insights where we promote common sense

Robert Nordlund:

for common areas. Well, welcome to episode number 32, where we'll be speaking with insurance expert and regular co host Kevin Davis on the topic of reputational damage, it's real, and board members are being sued for it. So you need to know what's going on in order to minimize your exposure. And if you haven't had a chance to listen, I want to encourage everyone to check out our last episode number 31, which was a reserve study q&a getting you prepared for budget discussions. If you missed any other prior episodes, take a moment after listening today to subscribe to this podcast on any of the most popular podcast platforms. You can also listen directly from our podcast website, www HHOAinsights.org, or watch on our YouTube channel. And if you have a hot topic, a crazy story or a question you'd like us to address, you can contact us at 805-203-3130 or email us at podcast@reservestudy.com. So Kevin, I think we can start today's program with one of those. This one audience question from Janet in Oakland, California. And Janet writes, we have one troublemaker homeowner. And because of that we walk on eggshells around her treating her as nicely as possible. Is this okay, favoritism? Wow.

Kevin Davis:

You know, this is this is a problem we are talking about reputational damages. And it's such a big problem today that the boards are walked around eggshells, they're afraid. They're afraid to go to be sued because they bullying they afraid they're going to be sued because harassing or discriminating. Or they wrote some they shouldn't wrote or said something they shouldn't have said. And guess what? We as homeowners who live there, we just want to yell and scream. We want to blame we want to criticize. We don't want it was that like the old days? You know, can you imagine this? Someone walked up to you 20 years ago said, Robert, listen, you know you have some problem. You're not taking the trash out of your parking in visitor's parking way too long. Or you know you're using a pool. At the wrong pool hours, right? You we'd be ashamed. Right? We'd be Oh, I'm sorry. We say, oh, man, I can't believe it. Now, what do we do? Yeah,

Robert Nordlund:

I think you hit it on the head, I think, oh, boy, we could go political on this. So there was that one candidate for President of the United States who was caught on a boat called Monkey Business. Do you remember that? And if he had a woman on his lap, and he left the election process, there was shame. And maybe it's the rise of bullying in our society where people want to stand up for the way they did it and not accept their own mistakes but Well, yeah, we're getting more and more confrontation which is exactly in your line of work confrontations.

Kevin Davis:

And that's what is it? We demand justice, though. I mean, it's not it's not so much. We're bullying. We feel we're being disrespected. We feel as unit owners, or anybody we feel we disrespected and guess what you got to treat me better. Because I demand you treat me better. I demand you treat me with respect. I'm gonna demand you treat me I am somebody like I belonged. I am special and and everybody feels that way and is creating these problems because as a board of directors, our job is to enforce the documents right to collect assessments to maintain the common area. It's our job, but guess what happens though, in order to do that, we can't make everybody happy. And we will not make them happy. Guess what, instead of them taking responsibility and say, I'm sorry, you're right, I do need to look at the rules and obey them with why I should pay by assessments on time. We go, what right? Do you have the pass assessments anyway? What do you think you are? How dare you do this to me? And that's where the problem comes into play.

Robert Nordlund:

Okay, so we've got challenges, we've got people that maybe are bolder than they used to be. We've got people

Kevin Davis:

angrier, angry, because, you know, we we are, we get upset about things that we never got that upset about before. That's the issue. You know, we just, we just feel like we don't feel the way we want felt. We don't feel that sense of, we feel entitled, we feel that we have this entitlement that we are entitled to be able to do what you want to in our own house. Who are you? This is a homeowner association, even in a condo, who were you to tell me I can't do these things. And as a result, it creates this, this this, you know, reputational damage and at first I we should define what it is because that's the important thing. We talk about reputational damage is a loss, it impacts your standing in the community. Okay, and your relationship with others. So we hear that that's so many communities out there. Can you imagine that one person wrote that? That question for you. They said they had one person that community when I saw that first question, only one person in that community?

Robert Nordlund:

Yeah. Okay. I think we've talked about that before, it's hopefully single digit percentage points of people in the association that it may be or not good living in close quarters with other people. But there's talk about walking on eggshells. There is perhaps a lot of that going on. Is it okay to be especially careful around some people? Is it wise to be especially careful?

Kevin Davis:

You know what, that's one of the answers, be Walker, and it's not so much to to be ashamed or walk around like a fearful, but you got to be smart enough to know is this the hill, you're gonna die on? This is the person that's going to be driving to the point where you're going to overreact? Because the key thing as a board member, or as a manager is not to overreact. Because when we overreact, guess what we get drawn into it, and then we get stuck in the mud. It would ever say don't fight with no fight with dogs, you get fleas or something like that. And isn't saying like that, stay above the fray. Now, this is it. This is fairly new was happening. And I want to talk about is why today, why? What's happening today. And the number one thing that really has changed all this is the internet. You know, we're able to express ourselves in ways that makes us feel, you know, vindicated. You know, you know, anger, when we have anger, it makes us feel that we have been abused, we've been mistreated. And so guess what the internet allows us to do put anything and everyone put in there and blame and criticize and just yell and scream. All we want to. That's been the number one thing that's happened over the past 10 to 15 years. But one more thing that happened recently, the past few years, it's COVID. Because now with COVID, guess what we're doing now that one o'clock in the afternoon, I'm home, right? I'm already talking to you. My landscape guy, he comes by he came by about an hour ago. And I'm like, I hope he gets done or miss spots. You know, I'm looking at this tree out there. And I'm like, oh, man, you know. And so all of a sudden, you start to feel entitled like how dare you not do certain things. And I start laughing automatically because I'm about to do this talk at the same time. I'm feeling like frustrated with my landscape guy. And all he does is this doing his job. So that's, that's our world we live in today, It's such a problem because again, we talk about

Robert Nordlund:

When you were talking about this topic, I was life. We talk about libel and slander here slander I'm yelling thinking spoken words, as in board meetings as in walking across and seeing someone in the common areas or while you're walking your dog or getting your mail or that kind of thing. And now I'm thinking email, because I got an email from a friend at you Robert because I don't think you did a good job. I yesterday. That was mentioning of mutual acquaintance, and they think you incompetent everything like that's so I'm yelling at were bashing that person and I was thinking number one, I share you. But boy can you imagine was I put that thing in writing and your feelings but I would never write them down. And is that what you're talking about? The written word in addition to? it goes and stays forever. That's the problem. And that's where the lawsuits I mean, the lawsuits come from both angles, libel, slander, but if you if you put something in writing, all of a sudden, that lasts forever, it goes all throughout the community, it can go in any IP, you put in your Facebook page, it goes to everybody else's Facebook page, it's talking about something that's really is a problem. You know, the internet is a problem. I'm thinking that would make a great what do we say evidence? Yeah, let me submit this to the court. A document number five, and it was like, oh, it's she exhibit. That's it. Don't put things in writing over before this. We were talking about, okay. reputational damage is a big thing for you. It's a new topic to me. So it's great that you can explain it. So we're talking about civility, I want to, well, we want to in this podcast encouraged community. And a lot of people I think, have lost a little bit of their social graces when we started living more at home, and we lost a little bit of our wouldn't call it soft skills, where he is polite, Hello, how are you doing? The ability to make small talk and just smile, and just a cocktail hour conversation just pleasant, meaningless, but just the social graces that move things forward. So with a lacking of those things, is that kind of what we're talking about where people are just a little more abrasive, a little more, as you say, angry about things? Yeah.

Kevin Davis:

But it makes it worse is that the people who are in charge, the board has to learn that they don't have to be that person, they'll have to go in that area with them. They don't have to get to a point where they are going back and forth. In other words, if, again, if you are a board member, if I'm a board member, and I'm going after you Robert because you didn't pay assessments in a timely manner. Okay. Now sudden, you call me you know, every name and book that I'm incompetent, I stole the money. You know, what are you don't have money anyway. You don't have the right to do the money, all those things. Okay. Now, I know, I can yell back at you and say, well, listen, if you were to did beat yourself, or you would pay for things in a timely matter, guess what wouldn't happen? I mean, that's what happens. Right? Yeah. Okay,

Robert Nordlund:

where is the key? Engaging? Because I remember that's what my mom told me. Don't engage. Don't yell back. Is that one of the basic principles? But but this

Kevin Davis:

is the key problem, though. Because there's a line, there's a line between first amendment right, okay, we got a First Amendment right to criticize and blame until you know, the Board of Directors, they are not operating in an appropriate manner. You know, you're not collecting assessments properly based on the information that i'm seeing, you're not maintaining a common area, you know, you're not doing this, I'm criticizing, okay. However, here comes the problem. When I put something in there, I say you committed a crime that only you're not collecting assessments properly, but you took that money, guess what you did, but that money, you kicked back, you pay kickback off the roofer, instead of him taking care of my roof. You take care of your roofers got no, you get him kicked back. Well, that's wrong. You can't say somebody had an infectious disease. You can't say, not only the reason why I can't come to your room anymore. You know what they're saying? He has he has COVID Yeah, yeah, you can't do that. You can't talk about so much professionalism. You can't attack the professionalism, the competency. Okay. And you know, and one thing is sexual conduct. You can't say that he's sleeping with his neighbor, he's sleeping with the landscape or sleeping, and we see all these things all the time. It always goes to those areas. When we are battling by go back to you and say, you know, the unpaid assessments in an untimely manner, Robert, and you say, well, listen, I tried to pay you, but you don't have the you don't have the software enabled me to get it done. Right. That's a no, no, we've done that for a year and year we've been doing this system. Yep. I guess your system sucks, you suck. And all of a sudden, then I get upset with you and say what you a deadbeat. You haven't paid your money in years. And guess what? Your marriage, you know, and again, we go down this. And once we crossed that line, guess what now we have damages. We have reputational damages, because now I want retribution. And you can't certain things you can't say there's a there's a lot you can't cross I can be criticized at critical of you as as a person who is responsible my board to take care of my community. Okay? But boy, when I take it to those other areas, then all of a sudden, now you're talking about and from an insurance point of view. I'm talking about the millions of dollars of loss when I started accusing you of crime or accuse you of being incompetent or having some kind of disease or you're cheating on your wife with the person and that's a we see it it Listen, the people will listen to this right now. We've heard all Those situations you know, as a, you know, if you're serving the board, those four things got to happen because we always got to go into them. And we got to go into that dirt. Hey,

Russell Munz:

Kevin, Kevin, I got to tell you to hear your animated stories to hear what you're talking about. Makes me think I chose the wrong profession. Because dealing with Reserve says we're looking at buildings. We're not having one building, sleeping with a neighbor building, or accusing another building of getting too close to the trees and therefore damaging the roof. It's got to be fascinating. The stories you see, I'm missing out on those. Anyway. Hey, let's take a quick break for a message from our sponsor, and we'll be right back. Is your HOA or condo self managed and you don't want to work as hard volunteering? Are you full managed and looking to save money? Are you looking to split the accounting from a manager's role for better service? Let community financials handled the monthly accounting for you. We collect dues pay bills, produce financial reports, include portals and help with other support services, all while providing awesome service. We'd love the opportunity to help you make your community accounting stress free with our industry leading systems and expert team. Visit our website community financials.com to learn more.

Robert Nordlund:

Well, during the break, Kevin and I were speaking about how in my world I'm dealing with infrastructure, and in his world, he's dealing with people. And that just brings so many issues into play. So Kevin, Why don't you pick it up from there, and tell me about the people interactions,

Kevin Davis:

people are unpredictable. That's the thing. And when we're more unpredictable where we live than where we do at work. When we go to work, we would work when we're there to make money. And we're there for certain things when we have home is we have this emotional attachment to our home. So when people tell us we can do we can't do we have a reaction. And again, the reaction today is different a reaction 20 years ago, where we felt shame and embarrassment and humiliation, we don't feel those things anymore. Now we feel vindication. We want to we want to show them that you don't have the right to do it. I'm a human being I demand respect, I'm entitled to respect. So as a result, guess what we're going to do, we're going to go toe to toe now. I'm going to call use of names, you'll call me some names. And what does go crossed that line? And then all of a sudden, that's where the losses come into play. Those losses come into play is based on two things that are really important. Were you harmed and was a true or not. Okay,

Robert Nordlund:

those are the Say that again. Were were you harmed harmed?

Kevin Davis:

And was it true or not? Truth is the key. If I say that you're incompetent board of directors, okay. Because, you know, you took the assessments and you gave it to the landscaper and he's gone. Okay, that's true. That's the truth. Okay. That's the truth. So that is that's that's the line at fine line is I can talk about things that are true. If you aren't sleeping the landscaper and you are sleeping that person you get upset. Guess what?

Unknown:

Oh, this is this is the world that you live in? Yeah,

Kevin Davis:

Israel is based on truth. You know, you if you're a criminal, if you're a crime, I have a right to call you a criminal. You took my reserve account. And guess what you did reserve account, you still carry your own building. You took care of your building first. And you didn't care about anybody else. But you did self dealing. You didn't look out for the best interests of the association looked out for yourself first. Whoa, wait a minute. You reputational damage. Yeah, reputational damage, but guess what? It's true. Okay, it was true. You are a crook. Yet. Truth is the there's a fine line, if it's true, and a cause damage, you know, it was its truth is that. So? You know, we will talk a little bit in a while bow how do you protect yourself? Well, one is truth. You got to live the truth.

Robert Nordlund:

I want to get to a couple of things first, first, reputational damage. Let's talk about who you are as a person. Yes. How is your reputation damage? Is it? Do you have to be a public figure, you know, a leader in the community? The coach of the local softball team or a Boy Scout troop? Do you have to have some standing in the community? Or can you be a I want to say an introvert or reckless who works at home, maybe write books for a living, you just don't have? How is reputational damage measured? Okay,

Kevin Davis:

and that's a good question. Because get normally you think about a board member has all the power and he's the one who's being sued. But not you have people who live in this community association who don't like the landscaper who don't like the contractors, okay, who don't like the person who maybe have a security guard. Don't mind me, I don't like the next door neighbor. You know, all these people need to be protected. And you know, you have neighbor versus neighbor disputes. You have one neighbor don't like the other neighbor because he's, you know, he's African American or you As you know, homosexual, whatever it is all those things, you know, it happens to everybody. There's no line where anybody isn't more entitled to not now, the Board of Directors, they they could be damaged more than somebody but not necessarily so if you, Robert, if you go into an association, and all of a sudden they said that, you know, you're horrible reserve study specialist and you have all the documentation and your professional everything they think harms you behind your reputation, they harmed your name. And you're looking for damages you're looking for damages because you were harmed, you know, and they have no right to say that just because you walked in and they did it because you charged you know, money initiative got it for free. So it's it's really, really complicated. Everybody can be impacted in in association. I don't like my landscaper because I'm while I'm working at two o'clock in the afternoon, I'm looking out my window, and he's walking by this can of soda. They've been sitting by that tree for a week now because I planted there and I waited for him to take it out. It didn't take it out time for them to go contractors and you spent way too much money on a contractor. I know you're getting kickbacks. You know, I know you're getting kickbacks. I know that roofers getting kickbacks. So I'm now I'm suing both of them for getting kickbacks.

Robert Nordlund:

Gee, maybe we should have been attorneys. That's why I'm yeah, my head is spinning now. And I'm thinking times that people have said that, well, we blew a reserve study. And the most recent one was last week when someone was frankly disappointed about how much time we spent on site. Well they failed to realize that we spent a significant amount of time before we met the association manager, measuring the building's doing all that time gathering our information. And so the managers accusation that we were just there for a short period of time, for we're there for a short period of time meeting them, but we were there for hours prior. It was a truthful claim that we were only there 45 minutes with a manager but it was untruthful that we did a lousy job. Mostly I just swallow on that. And I just speak to the management company owner and let them know it's all good. We have the measurements. I guess maybe I've developed a thick skin maybe that's what we're talking about here.

Kevin Davis:

Whatever this is, this is the difference though. Okay. That's why slander and libel so different. Some I can slander you like that. You gotta look out that worried about it, because not gonna hurt me. Okay, all of a sudden that somebody puts that on Facebook, I'll put that in one of the 1000s of HOA sites out there. And all of a sudden it starts to hurt you and your reputation. Like, you know what I wouldn't like what happened to Fox News. You know, it was the whole scandal they had with the Dominion voting machine bribery election, right? Yeah, yeah, the Dominion voting that they said that they were doing what they've done, and obviously on Fox News as Sue but hundreds of millions of dollars, right, because they kept and that's the problem. It's not a matter of once you start and it goes down this rabbit hole, and all of a sudden now your reputation has been damaged and now you've lost all your clientele. You're lost. So is bigger. It's big for us as professionals in our own business, when the community Association becomes a problem too because now all of a sudden my next door neighbor I believe that a I'm a criminal because they say I'm embezzle the reserve study for this I'm sleeping around it by talking about it and pain and suffering emotional damages punitive damages punitive damage to that person did this viciously elections this thing happens all the time in elections. Can you imagine the elections that they have an board these board member elections where you know, you both running for the board? Okay, now all of a sudden, what makes a difference? Guess what this guy is not fit to be a board member because he's done it outside name and all the things you've done, and all of a sudden, they have damages there is libel, slander defamation. These are the damages that's going to come into play in in the elections that happens. Okay, where does it happe at? online ok? at Facebook, it happens online. IT happens at elections, it happens by the pool. These are the things that happen. And we don't understand or we care we don't care enough about each other the way we used to care about each other to just listen and go wow, I didn't know you felt this way about me. Maybe I need to change maybe I maybe I am being a little bit were rougher than I need to be. Maybe I need to be take a step back and just listen a little bit more and not to react all the time. Because that's what we do at the bottom line is we hear something we react if I meant to pool and all of a sudden I'm hearing that guess what? I heard that you not taking their trash cans out in there at night or you leaving your basketball court are you shooting baskets two o'clock in the morning? I get oh wow. I didn't mean to stop or I can get that anger comes in. I want to do battle.

Robert Nordlund:

Yeah, I work again I keep coming back to civility. Come Passion, community, things like that. The kind of words you've been the words you've been telling is combative. And so there's a lot of this going on what two board members need to do I know being a board member is already hard. So now we're talking about not the skills of being a board member, the leading the running a board meeting, make sure the minutes are good, make sure the budget is in place. We're talking about the personal skills, being having enough of a thick skin, having employees, what's what's it take for a board member to stay ahead of this and minimize their exposure,

Kevin Davis:

we use the word earlier and you use a bunch of words and we left all kindness. Kindness is the easiest thing to these, this is the easiest thing for me to be kind to one another, you know, I just kindness means I just want somebody to be well, I just want somebody to be okay. By being kind all of a sudden, you know, you would not hurt you don't even know you are being hammered in it because you they believe you have the right to pass assessments or you have the right to tell them what pool hours everything. If you can take a step back, you know, and talk to that person and explain to them take a couple seconds, couple minutes. And understand that you in the heat of the moment. They're trying to control yourself. Just take a couple of minutes. Take a deep breath and honesty you have to be honest with your interaction with them. As long as you're honest, you have evidence that what you're saying is true. If you're talking to somebody and say, Listen, I'm concerned about the budget right now I'm concerned about the money that's been spent, you know, I don't want to accuse you of embezzling money. But there mmaybe is some embezzlement here, the pepper we've been using maybe some embezzlement versus I know, you embezzlement. That's the word. I mean, this this usually different language. There may be some things here that I'm concerned about. There may be some situations there that are there's some serious issues that may be kickbacks involved, they may I accuse a you, but there may be some Can we look into it. Now I'm using different kinds of language that's not, that's more. It's not as combative but it is still being critical that I'm being critical about being combative. So it's the language that we're using. And we always talk about how communication is important. Using non confrontational communication is really important. It really is important.

Robert Nordlund:

Okay, so I'm talking about let's talk about a board meeting that's going south. Now you have let's say the person at the beginning of the question in the beginning, who was it? Janet from Oakland, saying we have a troublemaker homeowner. And let's say that troublemaker homeowner is in a board meeting, and they're causing a stink and blaming the board of all this kind of stuff. So go to the board meeting, let's say the board does the right thing. And says Thank you, Janet, you've had your should be Janet's the board member. Thank you troubled homeowner, you've had your three minutes of time to explain things as they go through and they finished the board meeting. Is it possible that they could get one person from the board just to speak to this person say, hey, a different person, a softer person, a mediator board member who's not involved and just say, Hey, I hear your concerns. What can we do to help you learn? Is there some of these social skills that can start to soften the problem?

Kevin Davis:

That's perfect. That is one of the answers, I always say, pull that person aside, explain to them the rules, explain what's going on, and how we can work together to solve it. And this is one of my suggestions. And my wife doesn't like it at all, ask them to be part of the board asked to be part of a group as part of a committee. Ask them to join and why is it now keep the guy out of there anything to do with setting up, get them involved in the association, get them involved and actually get involved, you can lower the temperature, the goal is to lower the temperature with those people because you can't control them. But by not adding to it, it can make a big difference. It really can make a big difference. Yeah,

Robert Nordlund:

I think there's a humanity there where let's say that person has a bad day or that say that person has a bad year they lost their spouse, their niece just got leukemia, that there's a lot of reasons for us to have bad days or bad seasons of our life. And that could be an opportunity to engage that person, soften that person find out that they're a mystery writer and and say, Hey, Dad, we'd love to have you see if there's some mysteries you can unwind here at the association, we change management companies, we're trying to put the pieces together and we would love your help and find out than just Is it is it perhaps that simple. It is

Kevin Davis:

because people want to belong you know people who are who are outcasts, people who are yelling, screaming that they want attention they want to belong and by inviting them in and say we be part of us we need you we like your energy of like what you the things you're saying and we want to be a better you want to help First to be better, we need you. People don't really want to be outsiders, you know, they don't want it. They think they outside or they believe that treat as outsiders. So that's why they outsiders, but by bringing them in and having them belong, and have them feel like they're are part of this community, guess what is solves a lot of these problems. I love that reputation is not being damaged. Okay, if I feel like I belong, because it's not bad harm, there's no harm. If I criticize you, Robert, you know, you know that we were friends that we get along, and you'll take my criticism and you you may not like it. But you say, Well, Kevin, I know he doesn't mean what do you mean? Well, I don't agree with you just said about my microphone

Robert Nordlund:

on the left side, your face, Robert, just about time.

Kevin Davis:

But that's what just what you hit the nail on the head with those kinds of things. That's it? Well,

Robert Nordlund:

I love the idea of community, the idea of embracing people and inviting them to belong. I think there's a lot of great future and hope in front of the Community Association industry, focusing on building communities, where you're breaking down those barriers, there's a smile in the hallway, all those kinds of things while we are near the end of our time here, so we need to close. Well, thank you. Kevin is always cherry talking with you. This was a fun one. There. Any any closing thoughts to add, as we finish this episode,

Kevin Davis:

I think that if we make an effort, we can stop a lot of the things of happening. But we as board members or people will live or listening to this thing at this they have we have to be intentional about it with a big it a plan to say this, we're going to do a you know what one thing I didn't say, adapt a code of conduct. They said this is how our behavior is going to be, you know, and make sure you have an anti discrimination policy. Because, you know, we say that, but to have a code of conduct, this is the behaviors that our behavior going to have in our community. So you always can bring back that behavior. You know, come on, we don't you know, we all sign this agreement, saying that our behavior is going to be A, B and C D says we're going to be doing for each other. So I think those are the kinds of things we have a choice. We have a choice, this community did not be dragged into these million dollar claims. All we have to do is be kind to one another, simply kind

Robert Nordlund:

of guide the community forward, build a community. Yeah, I like that. There's so many things we could talk about code of conduct. We could talk about following your principles. We could have a vision and a mission statement, who we are as an association, a lot of great things here and I think they all dovetail together. We hope you learn some HOA insights from our discussion today that helps you bring common sense to your common areas. We look forward to another great episode next week.

Announcer:

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Disrespect and accountability in a HOA
Dealing with Troublemaker Homeowners
What is reputational damage?
Should you be careful around that “one person” in your association?
Written/digital reputational damage
Dealing with incivility in your HOA
How is your reputation actually damaged and measured?
Learning not to be reactionary & building up personal skills
Being Kind & Honest
How to deal with troublemakers at a HOA Board Meeting