Kevin Davis: 0:00

What happens with you and I as business owners, when we overboard my work, I can't go to my manager, I can't go to my president. It all falls on my shoulders. So I can't go to everybody. So I had to find out a way, how do I stop reacting? What happens when there's things happen in my life where I have no control over, you know, normally when we have no control over, you know, you get anxious and anxious. Beat the anger and I get upset, and then all of a sudden, I need to learn what to do when those things happen and who I go to. HOA

Announcer: 0:28

HOA Insights is brought to you by Six companies

that care about board members: 0:30

Association Insights and Marketplace, Association Reserves, Community Financials, Kevin Davis Insurance Services, HOA Invest, and Inspectors of Election . You'll find links to their websites and social media in the show notes.

Robert Nordlund: 0:44

Hi. I'm Robert Norland of Association Reserves,

Kevin Davis: 0:46

and I'm Kevin Davis of Kevin Davis Insurance Services. And this is HOA Insights, where we promote common sense

Robert Nordlund: 0:53

for common areas. Welcome to episode number 120 where we're again speaking with insurance expert and regular co host Kevin Davis, so he can continue our theme of lowering the temperature at your association and in your own heart. There is, as you know, plenty of tension in a board member's life and plenty of incivility for you to deal with on an ongoing basis. So this episode is for you. In addition to being an insurance expert, Kevin is a UCLA trained mindfulness facilitator, and that was news to me, but frankly, knowing Kevin all these years, I'm not surprised by all of his capabilities. So Kevin is professionally trained with tools to de escalate tension, create space for better decisions and cultivate emotional intelligence, all of which are crucial in the high stakes, high stress environment of community association leadership, especially when you're doing this as a volunteer. So this helps you our podcast audience to be well informed and to be effectively equipped for the challenging work you do leading your association. Last week's episode number 119 featured a great interview with Melissa Ramsey, professionally, she's in the community association consulting business, but she was on the program because she's currently the president of CAI nationals Board of Trustees. I hope you enjoyed her message on health and wellness, some hallmarks of her personal skill set and her company's strengths, and if you missed that episode or any other prior episode, take a moment after today's program to listen from our podcast website, Hoa insights.org or watch on our YouTube channel, but better yet, subscribe from any of the major podcast platforms so you don't miss any future episodes. And those of you watching on YouTube, can see the HOA insights mug that I have. Kevin's got his mug too, and we got those from the merch store, which you can browse through from our Hoa insights.org website, or the link in the show notes, you'll find that we have some great free stuff there, like board member zoom backgrounds and some specialty items for sale, like these mugs. So go to the merch store, download a free zoom background, then take a moment look around, find the mug you'd like, and if you're the 10th person to email me at podcast, at reserve study.com mentioning episode 120, mug giveaway, and we'll ship that mug to you free of charge. Well, we enjoy hearing from you responding to the issues you're facing at your association. So if you have a hot topic, a crazy story, or a question you'd like us to address, you can always contact us at 805-203-3130, or email us at podcast at reserve, study.com but today's episode comes from Kevin. He wanted to share some of what he's learned and applied about mindfulness with our audience here. So Kevin, tell me, what is mindfulness? And

Kevin Davis: 3:53

again, once again, I'm glad to be here, and I think this topic is so important today, because when you talk about mindfulness, mindfulness is a pretty simple term that is, pay attention on purpose. As simple as that, pay attention

Robert Nordlund: 4:07

on purpose. Pay attention on purpose. Okay, I'm closing my eyes, paying attention on purpose. Yes, let me

Kevin Davis: 4:13

tell you what that means. You do reserve studies. Let's say you just finished. You just finished a reserve study in downtown LA, right. Just got it done. Let's put them and once you finish that reserve study, while you're doing it, you want you are on purpose, right? You're paying attention on purpose while you're doing that reserve study, what's that reserve study? Right? You're done, you're finished, you're going back home, right? But downtown LA right? Now, all of a sudden, guess what happens to your brain? Your brain wants to solve another problem. It wants to do something, okay? It was to work. Your brain is constantly on, constantly on. So once that reserve study is done, your brain you're finished for the day. You want to go home and relax and maybe watch Netflix or whatever. But what happens is your brain starts to go in two direct three different directions, many different directions, but one direction to go into, it goes back into. Did that do it the right way? The. Yeah, that did the last one the right way. That did what I did six months ago, the right way. So am I prepared for tomorrow? You start, first of all, you start worrying about yesterday, yeah, which creates certain levels depression, or you get anxious about tomorrow. So even though your body's in that present moment and you're going home and you ride on a 101, and I was like, your brain, you're daydreaming, or you're worried about the past, which creates depression, or you worry about the future which creates anxiety. So that's a world we live in. The only time when we don't live in that world is when we are in the present moment on purpose. So our bodies is always in the present moment on purpose. My hands on that steering wheel, you know, I'll be listening to the radio, but my brain is in autopilot, so we don't auto pilot. Guess what's happening? You're not on purpose. But what happens when you're driving home that one on one? What happens is that the truck comes by, or you may be crossing a 405, guess what? You're on purpose. So things only happen when you are being in the present moment and on purpose, and that's what all mindfulness

Robert Nordlund: 6:05

is. Let me get some clarity on that be present and on purpose. I'm a business owner, so I when you said your brain is always going, then, yes, my brain is always going. I finished the site inspection of the reserve study. I jump in the car. What happened at the office. Am I ready for tomorrow? You know, my brain is on purpose, but when I'm in the car, I do like to turn on a podcast. I have a short list of podcasts that I enjoy, and that allows me to kind of turn my brain off. Is that? Is that resting my brain, or is that an escape? Or tell me about that?

Kevin Davis: 6:45

No, no. Okay, good. We turn on you do you being deliberate? You on purpose. You're learning, you're informing yourself. So whenever you do that, you are active, that's when you stop react, reacting to the world, okay? Reactivity comes from, guess what, not being in the present moment. We react to things that are happening in around the world that we have no control over, but when we have control in our lives, we're doing things on purpose and deliberate. Guess what? Things happen. Things only happen when we are focused on the present moment, okay? If you're right, homey, this is your podcast, and you're learning about what's going on in the world of community associations. You know that you're in the present moment, but let's say you listen to old music. Are you daydreaming? Okay? And that's what a lot of us do. We listen to old music, but it brings back memories of what happened in the past. So what happens is we start thinking about the past, and may worries make up of nothing. But our brains are not active. The brain is is not it? Brains active because our brain wants to solve problems. It's all our brain wants to do. Is one thing is constantly solving problems, and it looks for problems to solve. What mindfulness does is one simple thing. It says, Uh oh, guess what? I'm daydreaming, or I am worried, or I am anxious. And once you understand that reality, you can do something about it. Okay, for example, let's say you drive home and you worry about all the things you just said, I gotta worry. I have to go back to the office. I got more things to do and a podcast to worry about with mindfulness does a guest schedule, yes, but all of your body embraces, wait a minute, let me stop. You know, let me stop. And that's the number one tool mindfulness has, is, is, is stop, okay? And whenever you get overwhelmed, you're coming home and you got all stuff, you go, Wait a minute. Let me stop. And stop means stop, you know. And this, it's not a physical stop what you doing, but you just shut your body. So wait me, just stop. Take a breath. You know what's going on? Yeah. And then you go, that's it, as simple as that.

Robert Nordlund: 9:02

I met a guy, and he told me about his daily routine. Another business owner, work, work, work, work, work. And on his way home, he had the last stop sign, and he pulled over at that last stop sign and gave himself a couple of minutes, literally, to stop. And that was his stop sign, to stop working. And he started thinking about his wife. He started thinking about his kids. And then the last 30 seconds of his drive until he pulled up into his driveway in his home, he became dad, and he became the dad that his family needed him to be in that last 30 seconds after he had stopped to kind of let the baggage go. Of all these other things is that a little bit of what you're talking about

Kevin Davis: 9:50

stop exactly I'm talking about what he did was exactly supposed to do whenever you get overwhelmed. Okay, another weekend, if we're overwhelmed, why? We're not present right now. We're just everything is happening right now. We were at the past. We're about the future. We worry about everything. So when we stop, and the word stop is you stop, you take a breath, okay? You observe what's happening and then you proceed. That's what that's how we do it. Stoke, stop, take a breath, observe and proceed and exactly what your friend did, exactly what he did. He may never taken a mindfulness class in his life.

Robert Nordlund: 10:27

Forever ago, mindfulness was invented.

Kevin Davis: 10:31

That was the one tool for mindfulness, is this, do exactly what he did, and then what happens is, once you stop, you're in that present moment. And he became present at that point in time, and he was able to come home and deal with his family. And that's the same thing happened to me when I joined mine for this about 15 years ago. Okay, I was overwhelmed by work. And what happens with you and I, as business owners, we overwork my work. I can't go to my manager. I can't go to my present. It all falls on my shoulders. So I can't go to everybody. So I had to find out a way. How do I stop reacting? What happens when there's things happen in my life where I have no control over, you know, normally, when we have no control over, you know, you get anxious and anxious. Beat the anger, and I get upset, and then all of a sudden, I need to learn what to do when those things happen, and who I go to. And, you know? And I go internally. You go to yourself and go, Okay, wait a minute, you know? I googled mindfulness. I heard about it and UCLA. I said, Well, UCLA is a great institution. Let me go there. I took mindfulness for about eight years before i i joined a class to teach it, because I realized the importance of being a take a breath and not reacting to everything that goes on, especially for me, I'm a hyper guy. I'm a hyper I get excited a lot. I I'm always on to be able to stop, take a breath and just stop. And that's what happens when we have our conversations. You know, I love to have conversation with you, because I'm an active guy, normally, historically, I've got, yeah, come on, guess what, Robert, guess what. And we could do this, you know, but what I've learned is to stop and wait for you to go. And I go, Yeah, but this is another way we can do this thing. As before we talk and you talk, we never talk at each other. I take a stop, take a step back and listen to you, and then I proceed,

Robert Nordlund: 12:22

yeah, well, Kevin, you're always saying fascinating things, and the circuits are firing in my brain. My son is a Navy pilot, and he has told me about this thing, the Reno Air Races, and apparently these small planes fly around the pylon course. And the secret to going fast, and the mantra is fast is slow, and slow is fast, because the more you can be smooth about your actions and go around the course, smooth, that leads to a faster time. Because if you're jerking and reacting and always correcting, then it ends up with a slow time. And I what I'm hearing you say is slow it down. Slow it down, and get your life together, get your self focused, work in the present, and get rid of all the gazillion things that well, the marketing messages. What do we hear about all the marketing messages we hear each day, hundreds or 1000s. There's lots of stuff floating around, and we just need to the YouTube people can watch it, kind of cut through the clutter and just get to what do I need to do now? Is that

Kevin Davis: 13:35

exactly it's and this how it works too. Is that, let's say you are in New York City. You know, in New York City Times Square, you have every subway in the world going for you, the A to B to C, the one, the two. And what happens is, what our brain does it get on the first subway that comes by? Okay, okay, that's what happens. We have the thoughts constantly coming in, and whenever our thought comes in, we jump in it just like we jump on our first subway. What we have to do for our thoughts is wait for that right thought to pay attention to. So now of a sudden, I'm going uptown. I'm not gonna catch it when it goes cross town. But what happens is, is that historically, what we do is whatever thoughts come through, we gravitate to them, and we worry about them, or we get anxious about them. When mindfulness tells us to, as we quiet the mind, we realize what things are really are important. And like your friend said, my family is more important. Okay, quiet in mind. Does that what you said about your son? We go slow. You quiet your mind. Our mind wants to solve problems, so we bring it down to a certain level. You know what problems that really, truly need to be solved because there's constant thoughts in there, going, I need to do this. I need it. I need it. I worry. I worry. You're anxious. Worry, anxious. Worry, anxious. It goes back and forth because your brain was to solve those problems. The only time it doesn't happen is we have a project to do. We have a hobby to do. If you like gardening or cooking, you know, if you like playing off, whatever your hobby you do, you're in the present moment. And guess what? Life is the best. Yes, yeah, that your friend said, I'm from my family. That is the best moment in time when you with your family, one purpose, I suppose, with your family, and you're daydreaming, we worry about work.

Robert Nordlund: 15:11

Kevin, I do love going to the golf driving range, because when I'm hitting balls, I'm hitting at targets. I'm focusing on that. And you're right, that's all I'm working on right then. And there are times when I'm at dinner and my wife will say, leave work behind her. What's what she say, she's something I got. I says, How do you know? You know? Or she says something like, where did you go? It's like, oh. And she says, Because I noticed your hands are clenched, and I'm at the dinner table with my hands clenched, and she says, Let it go. We're here at dinner, and I just imagine there's so much tension inside your body that there's physical manifestations.

Kevin Davis: 15:50

That's it. We talk about stop. What we do is stop and put you observe what's happening in your body. Your shoulders are up, your hands are clenched, and then you let go. You don't have to have to have your wife tell you let go. Mindful says you wait a minute. Wait a minute. I need to let go. Okay, now that we

Robert Nordlund: 16:06

I'm getting a sense of I almost want to call you a Zen master on this. But what does this mean for board members? Tell me about how this applies to community associations,

Kevin Davis: 16:17

okay, when we talk about mindfulness, okay, there's two aspects of mindfulness that we have to be concerned about. Okay, what we've talked about with mindfulness awareness, just being aware of what's happening right now in this moment in time. Okay, that I have a board meeting. I'm anxious about the board meeting, or I'm worried about the board meeting, or I don't care about it. I'm not going to board meeting. I'm a daydream. Okay, when those things are going to be happening, but whatever they are, you're not gonna be present, and you're not gonna be present, then you're gonna be act. So the first thing we want to do is be mindfully aware that we're gonna use stop whenever we feel that we are out of control, or we feel place uncertainty, whenever you face any disagreement this, let me just stop and take a breath. Observe what's happening in my hands, observe what's happening in my body, and then answer the question. It could take a second or five seconds, or it could take a couple of minutes. You can sit, you can sit by yourself while stuff's going on, and go, Okay, let me really stop. Slow it down. Let me take a breath. There, they're talking and everything, but not me. I'm going to just find what's happening in my body right now. I feel these sensations all over the tension all over my body, and once, as you describe it, it takes the power away. Yeah, we describe that right now, I'm really angry about what they're talking about, and I'm angry. Okay, okay, well, let me deal with that means I'm angry. Oh, I'm reacting to anger. How can I make this not react to the anger right now? And then the key part of it, then we go and cultivate kindness, and then we want to do is be kind to everybody else. To me, is always a three part thing. You have to quiet the mind first, and then you you relax the body. You know, understanding what's happening in the body, relaxing, and then you come back. You cultivate mindfulness by using kindness. Kindness is the thing that you do so by being kind to others. And it's just easy to do that. It just say in your mind, now you'll say to God, may you be well, yeah, may you be well, may you be happy, may you be peaceful. And what happens is you feel better, and then all of a sudden, you feel better just by feeling me feeling if I look at you right now and just say, May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may be healthy, maybe strong. I'm saying that in my mind, all of a sudden, you feel my reaction just to be and then also it's hard to be angry at somebody when inside your brain, you're going, May you be peaceful, may you be happy, and then you look at somebody go, may you may be healthy, and may your health continue. And that's what that's the key part about mindfulness that brings in the kindness part of it. That's what you see when you're seeing people that are really genuinely happy, because they not happy about themselves. They happy for you too. May you be well. That's why may you be well. I appreciate you as a as a human being, and that's and that's the key to how we do it in a from a board member perspective. You know now that's part one is awareness. Part two is a mindfulness meditation, and that's the key to all of it, the meditation part of him, he goes as we meditate, we end up quiet in the mind. We can calm the body, and then we can move forward and be kind to others. You can't be kind to others unless we kind to ourselves first, and when we got behind my first, we understand what's going on in the body. The kind

Robert Nordlund: 19:45

of things you're talking about, I realize are not new. Now, the golden rule is, as old as humans do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. And you're talking about being aware of when you were talking I was thinking about because. Do some expert witness work in reserves and financing and that kind of stuff. And I was on the witness stand, and an attorney was badgering me, and I could feel him getting under my skin. And then I started looking at him, and my entire attitude, my character towards him, changed from, you know, he's a mean man, to, oh, he's got his set of problems, and he's, he's grasping me at straws to get me to say the wrong thing. And all of a sudden I became so peaceful, and that idea of slowing down being present and then serving others, oh, I, he must have problems in his life. I, you know, I is washing machine broken? Did he not have enough time to get to the dry cleaners? And all of a sudden it when you have a compassionate heart, you're not mad at the person.

Kevin Davis: 20:52

That's the key. The key thing is that we have a choice. There's a point in time where mindfulness, we say, Wait a minute. I'm really angry. And you did it. You experienced anger, but you did is you looked at him and said, he's a human being. Now we have a choice of treating somebody with kindness, or treating somebody with a negative emotion. Say you are evil, you are wicked, you are a bad person. Or you can say, Listen, you know, may you be well, yeah, may you be well, may you be free from suffering, you know, may you find joy. Maybe you experience joy. And you look at a person and do that, it takes the power away from him against you, because you recognizing him as a human being. If you were in a board of directors in the condo association, the temperature is rising, what you want to do is lower the temperature by just calming your brain, just whining the brain, and then all of a sudden, cultivate the kindness by saying, guess what? And you'll be well, may you be happy, you know, and you just be free, you know? Yeah, whatever it is that comes into your brain that promotes kindness, you know, what you did is that you promoted a sense of compassion for a person. It's the same thing. It's gratitude. You know, I'm happy to be part of you. I'm happy with you. I'm happy to be here with you. I'm glad I'm here with you. You know, may this continue, May it never end. You know, these are things that takes cultivating. And the thing about things like gratitude and compassion and joy, those things have to be worked on, because we don't we know how to control our anger and our sadness, and we love being angry, and we we've been our whole lives. We anger has been that one thing we we learn how to control, we learn how to use in our favor, but we never learn how to use things like joy and compassion to our favor, because they have to cultivate, especially in times when you really, truly need them.

Robert Nordlund: 22:40

I want to go deeper on that, but we are looking at the time, and it's time to take a break. So Kevin, let's take a quick break now to hear from one of our generous sponsors, after which we'll be back with more common sense for common areas, and I want to hear more about what a meditation is. So join us in just a

Russell Munz: 22:57

minute. Is your HOA or condo self managed and you don't want to work is hard. Volunteering. Are you full managed and looking to save money, or are you looking to split the accounting from a manager's role for better service, let community financials handle the monthly accounting for you. We collect dues, pay bills, produce financial reports, include portals and help with other support services, all while providing awesome service. We'd love the opportunity to help you make your community accounting, stress free, with our industry leading systems and expert team, visit our website, community financials.com to learn more,

Robert Nordlund: 23:28

and we're back. Well, Kevin, before the break, you had my brain spinning. I was trying to be present and savor your words. That's what you were talking about. Be aware. Slow down, stop actually. Cultivate kindness, meditate, but help me with that. Because when I think about meditating, I think about when I've slowed down, and I think about what's going on in my life, what are my concerns? What do I have control over? Boy, it's a gorgeous day outside. So glad for my wife. You know things like that. When I slow myself down and I can choose what then I want to speak about. So that's kind of my untrained understanding. But tell me what what is a meditation? What are you recommending? What are you talking about here, that's

Kevin Davis: 24:21

good. Now there's different types of meditation, because most people, when I hear word meditation, they think about empty their brain. And, you know, it's not about emptying the brain. What it meditation is about focusing on something that is neutral, okay, normally it's the breath, where you just breathe in and you breathe out, and meditation is about. That's what it is, just breathing in and noticing the breath. Now, what happens is, there's nothing more boring than noticing the breath, because no judgment, there's no breath of the breath. For example, if I tell you to focus in on my hand right now, I say, focus on my hand. Focus on my hand, and same thing focusing your breath. Now what happens eventually? Lead, you end up not focusing. You're focusing everything else by faced everything else, but mindfulness says, come back to the hand. So focus your attention on the hand which is neutral. Is the hands, the hand, okay, so what you want to do is the way you quiet. Your mind is focusing on something that is neutral. The breath is neutral. Sounds are neutral. Okay, so by focusing on something that's neutral acquires the mind. Now your brain doesn't like that. Your brain wants to solve a problem. So your brain gonna say, this is boring, you know, I'm gonna divert my attention. Every time you divert attention, yes, exactly, whatever happens, that's mindfulness. Whenever you say, Aha, I diverted my attention. You come back to the breath. If you never meditate before, it was in five seconds of breathing in and breathing out, you can be saying, wait a minute, I'm doing this wrong, and it's not working. But as soon as you say that, that is mindfulness. So eventually get to a point where you're recognizing it my mindfulness, bring it back to the breath so that when you are going home and you start to worry, you'll do the same. Up, I'm worried. Up, I'm not paying attention. And you bring it back to paying attention when you need to. Our brains are automatic pilot most of time, because it takes a lot of energy to work the brain. Nothing wrong then, but when it goes off kilter, when you daydream about, you know, spending the time with your wife and at the beach, whatever. That's okay, but the problem comes in. Oh, well, what happens? I can't whatever. Don't make enough money. Oh, wait, man, mindfulness. I mean, stop doing that and bring it back into the present moment. So when you focus your energy on the breath, every time you leave the breath, aha. Mindfulness, it's like a pendulum that swings. It Go. You go further and further out. But every time it gets stopped to a certain point, you bring it back. Eventually, if you do this over time, like I do this, I could do this like 2025, minutes a day, and then at 2025, minutes a day, it comes and it goes, it comes and it continues, comes and it goes, and it eventually quiets the mind to the point where, you know, you make the things that really, truly matter comes out, and then you pay attention to those things. We're going to meditate. You got any question for me? Yeah, I

Robert Nordlund: 27:09

do have a question. Is that 20 or 25 minutes some of the best minutes of your day? Yes, yes.

Kevin Davis: 27:16

But after we time perfectly, because what happens if it's the wrong time there's 2025 minutes you will sleep, right,

Robert Nordlund: 27:23

right. Okay, I understand that. Yes, okay. And also I wonder, yeah, I'm wringing my hands just thinking about it. If I was to slow down and stop and do that, I'm guessing I would be bad at it at first. Is it like exercising, where you need to walk before you run? So give yourself a little bit of grace here. Yeah,

Kevin Davis: 27:41

give yourself some kindness to yourself, okay? Because it is hard, because, first of all, you don't think you're doing it wrong. I've done this in a group of people, and the first thing you do is that you look around, go, I can't be doing this thing right. It is nothing easier to do than this, but it's so easy that we don't we think we can't be doing the right way. And it's such. It's a way that, if you really get into it, it eliminates a lot of medication. You're taking a lot of things that we take back now that we take because of anxiety or high blood pressure or weight loss. All those things disappear when you're able to have control over your body and mindful of all it does is say, Wait a minute. You're recognized at this point in time where you not paying attention. Hardest thing to do is focus on your breath for any length of time because it is boring and your brain wants to solve a problem as soon as you recognize, uh oh, I'm daydreaming. Uh oh, I'm worried. You say, I'm worried. And your brain and it's, guess what, you're not worried anymore. You bring it back, because at this moment you have nothing to worry about. At this moment, as you and I are talking, you have no problems at all, zero at this moment, you know. And that's the point in time. That's what we were when you meditate, do you realize that at this moment you were okay? We're all okay right now, where I was listening to this podcast right now is a Okay, nothing matters right now, and that's why the present moment is so important, because we spend too much time worry about the past and the future that we can't enjoy right now. You and I are enjoying ourselves. Robert and we do every time we do a podcast, yeah. What happens with the phone once we we got we go to our emails, we worry, you. We got anxiousness. Now comes back. The difference with me, after 15 years of doing mindfulness is that, oh, I'm anxious right now. And guess what? I still get anxious. All those things don't happen, and it doesn't mean they go away. I'm the same guy. I'm the same high energy guy I've always had been. But

Robert Nordlund: 29:39

you have the tool now. I have a tool. Okay, that control. Are you gonna talk us through something or something? We'll

Kevin Davis: 29:46

do a meditation for about, you know, but I get it done. This is the important part about this meditation. If you do this meditation before you go into your board meeting, you have a board meeting. Okay? And this meditation is designed. For one thing, right now, Robert, you were a board president. I'm a board president, okay, okay, I'm have this I'm have a contentious meeting. Okay, yeah, and you are feeling a contentious meeting. But even if not contentious, you know how you feel before you go to board meeting. So this mindfulness meditation is designed for that before, when you walk into that room and sit in that chair, this meditative posture first. Okay, this is kind of your posture. It's like a string is on top. You kind of pull it up like that. That's your position, okay? And we'll start by taking that nice deep breath in, exhale, inhale, exhale. And now we're going to just breathe normally. You'll notice your shoulder rise as you inhale, lowers as you exhale, and you know, there's a slight pause as you inhale, then you exhale, going to inhale, slight pause and exhale. I

Robert Nordlund: 31:22

can even hear my heartbeat in the headphones. I can I can feel a little so much more about what is happening in my life, or my I should say, my body. I

Kevin Davis: 31:47

now your brain wants to get bored and do other things, but just stay in a moment. Just keep noticing the breath. Always we're doing is quiet the mind, and then we're going to relax the body. We know we have a big board meeting coming up. We got a lot of thoughts, a lot of sensations going on in the body, a lot of emotions, but right now, none of that matters, because all we want to do is quiet the mind, and We're focusing in on the breath, inhale and exhale, we're now we want to do is relax the body, and we do that by bringing our attention to our facial muscles, starting from forehead. We're going to soften and relax all of our facial muscles starting with the forehead. Just relax those forehead muscles. To soften them and relax them. We're going to soften and relax around the eyes, just let them go. Soften and relax around the cheek, your mouth, your tongue, just let everything relax and soften. All your facial muscles are just relaxed and softened. You have a board meeting, and you relax your entire body before we go into that meeting. Now we go to the neck muscles. We're going to soften and relaxing all those muscles along the neck, one by one, we're and now we go to the shoulders. Just relax your shoulders. Let them go. Your left shoulder, your right shoulder, soften and relax them and are gonna relax the arms and we're gonna cup one hand in the other, by cupping one hand in the other, the same thing we take a small child's hand to say that right now you are safe. You're in a safe you're secure. You have nothing to worry about. You have a sense of you're in control right now. You. Now we're going to recognize the back and our chair, how our chair and our back, we're supported right now, that we held together, how we held up, how we know at this point in time that we're okay and that we're ready. You're ready for a meeting no matter what, because right now we're safe. We're in a safe environment, and we know

Unknown: 35:36

we can do this. You

Kevin Davis: 35:45

and before we go into our meeting, we want to wish everybody well. We're going to be kind to everybody in that meeting. It may be a little challenging, but right now, we'll take a few minutes and just focusing the people in that meeting that we know are supportive of us and know that whatever we say, they will be on our side. They will be encouraging and supportive. And we want to take a moment wish them well in this meeting, and we're going to say, May you be happy, may you be safe, may be free from suffering, may be healthy, may be strong, may you continue the support and just pick words that you feel are comforting through Those people that support you and back you up. Just feel that group right now, the support you get for them and how they make you feel. And then we want to do is picture the other group in there, and the ones that come to all the meetings and they don't say anything, but you want to wish them well. You wish that they have, that they're okay, that they're happy, that they're free from suffering, that they're healthy. You and then you want to do is tackle the harder group, the challenging group, if you want to, if you don't want to do that, stick with the group that brings you joy, the ones that that will you see them, you feel a sense of calm and ease. You. But before we end the meditation, we want to do is that bring that one person to mind that matters to you in your life, that one person, and bring them in front of you so you can wish that person well. Right now you're imagining a person that you care for, and they care for you, and they're in front of you. They're supporting you because they know that this board meeting can be challenging for you, but right now they're giving you support that you need. They're wishing you well. They're saying, May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you have a good board meeting. And you stay with that feeling right now, you know how you feel, and so we enter that board meeting. You know right now that you are in control, that you and go in that meeting with kindness and compassion, and you have one of the best board meetings you ever had. All right, let's end the meditation. And Robert, how do you feel?

Robert Nordlund: 39:02

Well, you took me to a happy place. I had no problems. I love holding a child's hand, walking them across across the street. And I was holding my own hand. I was in a safe place. Kevin, I'm gonna have to remember episode 120 and the bookmark this one, whatever it is, because to have an old friend with your kind voice walking me through just settling myself down, and there's a little bit of voice saying, this is going to be lousy podcast, because there's so much silence that I was thinking this could be the best podcast, because people are going to bookmark this and come back because it's good for them. Yeah, this is a good. I don't know what that was five minutes. I don't know how long it was. I don't care, but it's going to be a good after you do it once stop, watch it, time it, and give yourself that much time before a board meeting. You. And I felt like, I'm good to go. I Yeah, this is yeah. It's fantastic stuff. Anyway, you're good at this. Surprise, surprise,

Kevin Davis: 40:14

yeah. Well, again, I teach it. This is what I do. I teach it, and for the record, I teach at that LA library, one one week every month in downtown LA,

Robert Nordlund: 40:25

okay, well, downtown LA has its challenges, or LA has its challenges fires, Yep, yeah. And we there's a lot of anxiety local. There's a lot of anxiety in the world. Well, Kevin, this is a fascinating and absolutely wonderful time that we've had here today. Like you said, I always enjoyed talking to you, and I just hope this was meaningful. Settling down for everyone who has joined us to listen to this. Any closing, wrapping thoughts that you want to add.

Kevin Davis: 41:00

The key to this thing is, whenever you have a board meeting, at any time of meeting, let's see at work, listen to this part of it, and then it'll make you feel ready for anything you're going to experience in life, even if right now. Look, we all living in challenging times. We hate uncertainty. We love certainty predictability in our lives. Listen to that, listen to that little meditation, and you will feel a lot better about whatever happening. Feels a lot of things happening right now.

Robert Nordlund: 41:25

That's for sure. That's for sure. Well, thank you so much. Again, I'm gonna have to keep this one on bookmark or whatever. Episode 120 episode 120 my my closing line is, we hope you learn some HOA insights from our discussion today, but I hope you learned some mindfulness techniques today that helps you be a better person, and as you do that that brings a greater person to your association, which brings common sense to your common areas. Thank you for joining us. I hope it was at least as helpful to you as it was to me. We look forward to bringing many more episodes to you, fascinating episodes on this topic or another topic or any topic. Week after week after week, we're going to be here, and it'll be great to have you join us. So thank you so much, and we look forward to having you join us on a regular basis, spread the word, and we'll see you next time you've

Announcer: 42:22

been listening. To HOA insights common sense for common areas. If you like the show and want to support the work that we do, you can do so in a number of ways. The most important thing that you can do is engage in the conversation. Leave a question in the comments section on our YouTube videos. You can also email your questions or voice memos to podcast at reserve study.com or leave us a voicemail at 805-203-3130, if you gain any insights from the show, please do us a HUGE favor by sharing the show with other board members that you know. You can also support us by supporting the brands that sponsor this program. Please remember that the views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the hosts and guests with the goal of providing general education about the community, association industry. You'll want to consult licensed professionals before making any important decisions. Finally, this podcast was expertly mixed and mastered by stoke light. Video and marketing. With stoke light on your team, you'll reach more customers with marketing expertise that inspires action. See the show notes to connect with stoke light. You.